Applying Pain to Life
I just want to point out something very quickly from chapter 7. We all like to be comfortable. We like to be affirmed for who we are and what we do. Very seldom do we desire criticism and even less often do we ask for it. In fact, many of us have a hard time with any correction at all.
Even though we know deep down that we're not perfect, we want other people to think we are. It's natural for us to put on the facade that we are better, stronger, faster, smarter, better-looking than we really are. And even though we know we're just deceiving people, we're still hurt when people know the truth.
Some people react well when they realize they've been exposed. A good reaction is when we are able to accept the criticism with grace, take a step back from our emotions and defensiveness, and see the truth in what another is saying. Often, in order for us to accept criticism this way, it has to come from the right person.
Some people don't respond to criticism well at all. There are two poor responses to criticism that are common. The first is to be defensive. When we're defensive, we might refuse to consider that there might be some truth in what the person is saying. Or we might make excuses for why we acted or reacted the way we did in a particular situation, blaming it on someone else or on circumstances.
The second response is to be overly burdened with hurt or guilt. Hurt and guilt are very seldom good long-term motivators. They might result in some immediate change of behavior, but eventually the pain will wear off or we'll become calloused to guilt. If the sting of criticism is not handled properly the guilt might lead to despair or a sense that you're a complete failure. This type of response is not helpful.
But in chapter 7, Paul is thrilled because the Corinthians seemed to handle his criticism well. At first, he felt a little bad and thought he might have been too harsh, but when he heard that the mental and emotional anguish he caused them resulted in repentance (verse 9). The difference, Paul says is "godly sorrow" vs. "worldly sorrow." The difference is in the way the criticism is accepted.
When someone offers criticism, whether asked-for or not, it's always best to receive it with humility. It might be that their criticism isn't valid at all. But there may be truth to what they say. You cannot control the attitude in which they present the information. You can only control your own response. When you are secure in your standing with Christ, and you've bought in to the idea that the only thing that really matters is living a life that pleases God, then humility will go before you. But if you're concerned about your image and are dead-set on maintaining the squeaky-clean reputation, seldom will you be able to take criticism well. And the sad part is that when you can't deal with the emotional pain that comes with others recognizing you're not perfect, it will be impossible for you to grow.
But if you are able to accept it with humility and grace and embrace the fact that you're not fooling anyone with your perfect facade, then you won't have to wear the mask to pretend you're better than you are--you'll actually become it.
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